And then John Mayer said something quirky in Japanese.

This weekend at the Toronto Film Festival, Jennifer Aniston was asked how she was doing since…you know…John Mayer dumped her ass.

Jennifer Aniston responded that she was busy but happy, blah blah blah. The reporters probably tried to ask a lot more about John Mayer, but since I only read a blurb about this, it cut right to talking about the film she was there to promote, which is called something boring that I can’t remember, and is about a woman “who finds her inner strength.” You know, like almost every female-centric movie ever. Someone asked Jennifer Aniston how she finds her inner strength (my response would have been, “fair to middling” if I were her, but what do I know?) and she said she finds it just by waking up in the morning.

Whoa, Jennifer Aniston. Whoa.

This seems like it can go one of two ways. I think this is really kind of low-balling it, Jennifer. Just by waking up in the morning? Just by getting out of bed? That is something everyone is expected to do, Jen, so unless you are suffering from severe depression or are incredibly physically ill, you aren’t doing anything that amazing. You are just getting out of bed and you think that makes you strong? Some of us find our strength by, like, I don’t know, listening to Jordin Sparks on repeat. And I am ashamed of that, but I still think I am doing more work than Jen. I mean, even Reese Witherspoon started kickboxing and became anorexic and look how that worked out for her. She is dating that man with the prettiest puppy eyes in the world now. She wins.

This pretty much proves two things: 1. Jennifer Aniston is an idiot and 2. John Mayer fucks women up. I think we knew Jennifer Aniston was an idiot anyway, and I am sure she is pretty fucked up herself after being dumped by Brad Pitt, but John Mayer was a pretty dangerous place to go. The guy drove Jessica Simpson to the point where she is checking Tony Romo’s phone to make sure he’s not actually calling Carrie Underwood (am I the only one who realizes you can erase entries in your call logs?) and making country CD’s. Half of John Mayer’s songs are about how he knows he treats women like shit. He doesn’t seem like your safest path to healing, if you ask me. Yeah, he has bitchin’ arms and that "Bucket List" song is awesome, but come on. What, did you think you were going to fix him with your love and he would stop banging groupies? That seems like a pretty ambitious goal, especially for someone who thinks getting out of bed is the strongest thing she can do.

How to tell your kids: You were born to a different mommy, but Mommy found you and brought you home an gave you a wonderful life here because she needs approval from someone, and grown men just refuse to give it.