David Duchovny probably did love Bree Sharp (biblically, that is).

David Duchovny Enters Rehab for Sex Addiction.

What this headline isn't is, "David Duchovny and Tea Leoni Enter Rehab for Sex Addiction." Obviously this means one of two things: (1) Tea ain't complainin' or (2) Tea ain't involved. Thus it begs the question, "Must sex addiction involve philandering when it is the affliction of a married individual?"I would assume it needs to be with different people. Just because simply, your partner is going to need to go to work and sleep and the dentist and stuff, and I mean, if you’re an alcoholic, even if your regular bar serves you every night, there is still going to be a certain point of the evening where the bartender says, “You’ve had enough. Why don’t you go home and sleep it off?” So do you go home and sleep it off? No. You stop at the 7-Eleven and buy a 40 and find a nice corner of the alley to hang out in, because you are not ready for this party to stop.

Case in point: Eric Benet managed to ruin his marriage with Halle Berry thanks to a sex addiction. That pretty much proves that it’s a need to more or less bone everything in sight, because Halle Berry is supposed to be the prettiest lady ever. (She’s the nicest lady ever too, because one time she showed us her boobs! [For her ART!]) If you aren’t content to stick it in the prettiest lady ever, you must have a problem. But payback is a bitch, and sure, you can have all those years of sex with thousands of women, but in the end, the woman you cheated on will have a baby with a model, while you will resume being the guy who cheated on Halle Berry, and is possibly a musician of some sort.

Though it pains me to say it, I blame Tea Leoni. Because she had to have at least vaguely known what she was getting into. Sure, you see it rosily, but when you’re marrying an alcoholic, you realize you’re going to have to make some apologetic phone calls at the very least. Did she think he would change for her? Did she think she was up to the task of non-stop sex? Was this as big a surprise to her as it was to us? Did she watch “Californication” and wonder if it was art imitating life or life imitating art? Honestly: I’d forgotten they were even married until I read this article.

How to Tell Your Kyds: "You have to have so much sex. All the time. With lots of different people. It’s like alcoholism, but with sex instead of vodka."